musings.

Last night I had the privilege of going to my first ever ballet with my mom. And it was incroyable, to say the least.



At intermission, we were talking about attending events such as that one, and being involved in a community of persons that have the same interests. I'm always looking to meet people that I can share my passions with.
I mentioned to her that I would like to join some sort of art club, or take more classes; such as ballet or art. Be involved in the creative community in Edmonton.
My mom just kind of chuckled to herself. Of course, feeling a little disgruntled, I wanted to know what she was laughing at. She said to me, "You always have so many ideas, but never do any of them".
Well that struck a bit of a chord, but she's totally right.

On this blog I often speak of my grand ideas in life: take risks, go on adventures, pursue fashion, draw, paint, draw, draw, draw.

So far, I'm failing on all fronts.

So I ask myself this: WHY?
What causes so much procrastination, so much delay in pursuing my goals?

Is it fear? Fear that I won't succeed. Fear that I'll let others down.
Fear that I'll let myself down.

Honestly, I don't have an answer. But that's ok.
I'm the type of person that usually needs an answer to everything. Why am I feeling this way? Why do we do things the way we do?
This, I don't have an answer for.

This is simply me musing on my life.
Maybe it's time to reconsider my actions. Reconsider how I spend my time, who I spend my time with. How I spend my money.
There's been a stirring in my heart for a long time. Maybe it's time to finally listen.

J.