barre challenge.

Today I had my first dance class, ever (Zumba doesn't count, neither does gym class in high school). I think I found a new love. How have I never done this?
So you all know that I'm taking beginner ballet, and it is truly fantastic! I'm one of about 10 people, all close to my age; with a few younger and a few older. Some have done some dance before, some have never, like me. We got right into the swing of things, learning posture and positions and then sequences of positions along to music. We will even have a real accompanist next week! I can already feel the change in my body. This is something that I have always wanted to do, and I'm so proud of myself for actually going out and doing it! I'm a believer of doing and trying things that you may have never done before (but always wanted to try), no matter your age. Now, I'm not very old, so I don't know how much I can actually say that with justification. But I seriously hope that I hold to it as I grow older.
Doing the ballet movements and even just being in that studio, next to the barre and the mirror, made me quite happy. A couple of times I just smiled to myself, happy with myself for doing it. It's something that I can do all for me. Which I'm trying to do lately. It's definitely getting there.

Lately I've had on my mind what I want to do in the future; where I want to be and what I want to be doing. Now, as much as I love my job (which I actually do), it's not something that I want to be doing forever. I feel constrained in creativity. And I've come to realize that I like change, and not having to be committed to something. Since high school, I've done something new every 2 years. First work, then King's, then Grant MacEwan, and now back to my second year working. I can't seem to stick to something. I like that and I don't. It keeps things interesting and not stagnant, but at the same time I'm frustrated with myself for not being able to find something that I DO want to stick with. But I don't regret any of it. I've learned so much about myself in those years, and I have truly grown. Even though I have no degree (even though I have 4 years of schooling), it has not gone to waste, and I don't think that any education ever does. I loved the friends I made at King's and the atmosphere of the school. Grant MacEwan was one of the best choices I ever made, and challenged me in everything that I know about myself and believe. The one problem that I have is that I actually love school. I could just continue to be in it. I love the socialness that it brings most, but I also love the way that it challenges who I am. Which is why I will probably continue to take extra classes here and there. To better myself, and challenge myself every day. So we come back to my dance class! I can feel that it is the start to something. I don't know what, but it's exciting to see where it will take me!